Sexy vs. Powerful
Ok. There is something I need to get off my chest here. You are either going to love it, or hate it. You will either agree or disagree. Whatever your reaction is, my hope is that it just makes you think. When you say sexy, what you really mean is powerful.
You're thinking, "Well...that's all good and stuff, but I don't necessarily think that's going to stir any pots." So let me get the pot stirring...
To all you incredible women out there: quit falling into the antiquated, outdated, insulting, yawn-inspiring, predictable, male-dominated perspective of what sexy is, and let's redefine it to call it what it really is. And that is POWERFUL.
Why do I keep going back to the word powerful? Because that word is a giant umbrella in which the term sexy is but a small part of what makes up a powerful woman.
When you are a powerful woman you are confident, independent, self-loving, getting bid-ness done. You are smart, witty, funny, out there making things happen. When you put all of that together....that is sexy as shit to me, because that, my beautiful ladies, is one. powerful. woman.
So, where is this coming from, you ask? It comes from articles I've read, conversations I've had, and yes, from my clients. I hear it over and over and over and over again and again and again and again: I'd love to be photographed by you, but I can't wear that lingerie. I would never look good in that bodysuit. That string up my butt is just not happening....
Why oh why, in this day and age, do women keep thinking you must wear lingerie to make the eye of your significant other fall upon you in a desirable way?!? Even the women that feel confident in lingerie...I have to ask...why do you feel you can only bring a sexy look to yourself by wearing slinky, barely-there, lace-infused lingerie on your photo shoots?
Listen, I'm not saying if you wear lingerie you are not powerful. I'm not saying if you wear lingerie you are not embracing your own power. But I am saying this: quit kidding yourself that you are in my studio solely for a gift for him. And with that being said, quit thinking that he is only going to enjoy said gift if you buy into the idea that you must be wearing next to nothing.
You do not need to buy into the time-old male-defined view of "sexy". And that view is naked, lace, lingerie, skin...etc. etc.
Am I asking you to quit wearing lingerie on your photo shoots? Absolutely not. But I am saying that you should define sexy in your way. If that is lingerie, then bring lingerie. But stop telling me you can't be sexy because you can't wear lingerie.
I have been photographing lingerie-clad women for 7 years. It's pretty, but it's so predictable. It's girlie, but it's unimaginative. It's lovely, but we all know you're only wearing it to solicit an excited response from a boy.
Do you believe that you can be sexy with clothes on? After reading this post I sincerely hope your answer is a resounding, blaring, sing-it-out-loud-sister YES!
So what would happen if you only chose clothing for your photo shoot that made YOU excited? What would that look like? My guess is that there would likely not be one piece of lingerie in the whole day. Am I saying there would be no skin? Golly I hope not. But skin does not mean thong up your butt. Skin can mean sooooo many wonderful things. My guess is your shoot would include fashion pieces you have always died to wear, genres you have dreamed about and styles you salivate over in magazines. My guess is that your clothing choices would be unique, interesting, dimensional and FUN. And guess what else they would be? SEXY as a mo-fo. Yes. S.E.X.Y. Because gurrrrl...you would own that shit. You know it. I know it. Don't deny it.
Have you opened a Vogue lately? Harper's Bazaar? How about a Vanity Fair? Do you think those ladies are any less sexy than the gals in a Victoria's Secret magazine? What about the ladies in this post? Do they seem unappealing to you? Do you think their husbands, boyfriends or lovers looked at these photos and said "Well, that's nice and all but where's the tits and ass??"
No. I can assure you that is not the response any of the women in these photos received.
So what do I want you to wear at your photo shoot with me?? Any damn thing YOU want. You. Toi. Tu. Sie. Du. You get it? And why do I want this so badly for you? Because I want you to experience your own power. I want you to recognize it, embrace it and take it for a ride. I want you to revel in it and let it explode out of you.
When a person looks at you with that "Woooowwwwww. Holy moly canoli...." look, I want it to be because the energy you're emitting off of your body is one that stops people in their tracks, not because your boobs are hanging out.
I want you to understand that when you come to see me, your session does not have to follow the outdated vision of what has been defined as sexy for you. That's the great thing about owning your own power; YOU get to define what sexy is for yourself.
So bring the dresses, pant suits, boots, ties, blouses, skirts, jackets....and yes, even the lingerie. Bring it all. But all I'm asking is that when you do, you bring what makes you feel powerful.
Once you have figured out what being powerful tastes like, attention loses its flavor.